Vetting With Intention

A Guide for Choosing Partners and Dynamics with Clarity, Care & Confidence

Vetting isn't an interrogation — and it isn't something you do once and check off a list. It's a practice. A way of slowing down enough to actually see the person in front of you, instead of the potential you've already imagined.

This guide walks you through nine sections covering everything that actually matters before (and after) you open your heart to someone new: communication style, relationship values, boundaries and consent, cultural awareness, logistics, and the specific layer that comes into play when there's already a "we" in the room — couples, triads, and existing pods welcoming someone new.

You'll also get a Red Flag Radar for the moments your gut already knows before your head catches up, and a Post-Conversation Reflection section so you can process what you actually heard — not just what you hoped to hear.

Use it solo before a first conversation. Use it with a partner or pod to vet from the same foundation. Revisit it as a connection deepens, because the questions that matter at month one aren't always the ones that matter at month six.

What's inside:

• 9 guided sections, each with real fillable space for your own answers
• Vetting questions for solo and partnered situations
• A dedicated section for couples, triads, and existing dynamics
• Red flag checklist and post-conversation reflection prompts
• Fillable digitally or printable for handwriting

Not sure how a conversation with someone new is going to go before you're actually in it? The Ethical Non-Monogamy Companion with Taylor K. Sparks is built for exactly that moment — talk through your nerves, your non-negotiables, or what's coming up for you, before you sit down to vet someone using this guide. It's private, available any time, and the first 5 conversations are free.